We had our yearly All Nighter Labor Day weekend and were up for ~28 hrs. straight!!! We are getting too old for this and while this is their favorite event of the year, I'm beginning to despise it more every year!! The schedule goes something like this: tons of planning, organizing, signing 100+ teens into our care all night, pizza, inflatables, games, junk food, games, inflatables, games, cleeeeeeeeeean up, lock up and finally too many hours later...sleep! We're so thankful for all our volunteers though that give up their precious sleep to hang out with these crazies ALLLL night!
And then 3 days later Jacob's sweet grandmother passed away. Here's a short blog entry I never finished or posted:
"The Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself interceded for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." Romans 8:26-27
The past few days have been a blur for all of us in the Holmes family, but I cling to the promise that in our weakest moments He hears the cries of His children and comforts us. I literally sense the Spirit groaning for the words I cannot even begin to find, the pain we feel and the loss our family is going through. We have cried. We have prayed. We have laughed. We have embraced. We have vented our anger. We have been overwhelmed. We have been exhausted. We have reminisced. We have cherished. We have broke down. We have worshiped...
http://obits.dignitymemorial.com/dignity-memorial/obituary.aspx?n=Sandra-Wiley&lc=2348&pid=153521076&mid=4805924&Affiliate=dfw&PersonID=153521076&FHID=11331
From that day on life has changed for us and we have entered into yet another chapter of our life and marriage. And while there are no answers, we find peace in knowing that His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts higher than ours (Isaiah 55:9). She was all my precious husband had left of his own dad and while the memories are still there, we are what's left of the Holmes legacy...which brought us to begin fervently praying for our little Holmes' we will be raising one day. The things I have been adamantly asking the Lord on behalf of our unborn (adopted or not) are: that He would draw them to Himself and bring them to a saving knowledge of His Son, that they would grow up to love the Lord with every ounce of their being, that we as parents would be all God asks of us to His children, that we would be obedient and therefore teach our children obedience to their Father in Heaven, and that I as a mother will be at peace with whatever God does in the lives of our...His children.
Then about a month later God showed that even through the ashes He brings beauty and even through death He brings about precious life. Little baby Luke David was brought into the world and our family :) We went to go visit the new family of 5 in the hospital...and of course Uncle Jake made them all laugh. "They will rejoice in the bounty of the Lord...I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow." Jer. 31:12-13
At some point in the midst of this emotional roller coaster I completed my first (and only) Sprint Triathlon. It was literally only by God's strength because I was emotionally and physically drained. I memorized scripture to get me through the whole thing because that was my only shield against my utter exahaustion.
Exodus 14:14 "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."
2 Samuel 22:36 "You give me Your shield of victory; You stoop down to make me great."
2 Chronicles 16:9 "The eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him."
Ecclesiastes 9:10 "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might..."
John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy. I have come so that they may have life and have it abundantly."
Romans 8:31;37 "If God is for us who can be against us?...In all things we are more than conquerors through Hims who loved us."
2 Corinthians 10:5 "We demolish arguments and every pretenstion that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."
Colossians 3:23;25 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord and not for men. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."
We had our annual Hallelujah Party at the church and welcomed in our new Children's Pastor, his pregnant wife and two sons all in the same weekend. We've been busy helping them get settled and ready for little Melody Grace who's due any day now.
We've been cheering on our football boys who made it to playoffs and our band kids who placed 6th at state this year.
At the beginning of these last few months I remember a moment driving in my car praying the song Better is One Day as I sang along: "One thing I ask and I would seek, to see Your beauty. To find you in the place your glory dwells...I've tasted and I've seen, come once again to me. I will draw near to you." He has been faithful to reveal His beauty despite the circumstances and in doing so, has shown us more of His beauty. Jer. 29:12-13 "Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. I WILL BE FOUND BY YOU, declares the Lord..." 
Things I want to hold on to from these past few months:
*A card that came in the mail from my grandparents the day of Jacob's grandmother's funeral, "...The Lord gives us the great strength and peace, especially at these times, which passes our own understanding -we pray for that peace and comfort for you...May God bless you and keep you in perfect peace and may His face continue to shine on you!"
*A note taped on the door when I got home one night from my husband -Why I Love My Wife A-Z (Some of My Favorite: Absolutely Beautiful, Christ Centered, Devoted, Joyful, Pure in Heart, Vibrant, Willing to Follow, Zealous for the Will of God)
*Surprise note and flowers left on my school desk from one of our youth girls, "To the best Youth Pastor's wife ever!..You are such a blessing in my life! I love you!"
*There were many sleepless nights of taking care of our newly inherited, old dog with a bladder problem and I didn't even have time to change our pee soaked bed sheets one day so we had to sleep in the guest bed. Then he peed there too and we had no where to sleep in our own home. After a long day of funeral planning and sheer exhaustion we came home to a bed with clean sheets ~my sweet parents came over to make our bed...seemingly small, but unforgettably touching
*My sweet mother-in-law supporting her grown up children as they walked through this difficult time, settig aside all her past hurts and memories of the Holmes family. I asked her if it was hard for her to dig up all these past memories and she responded, "It's hard, but you'd do anything for your kids." ~the love of a mother, no matter how old her kids are
*As we drove home from the funeral, "Mommy do you see those sunbeams coming out of the clouds? That means that God is looking down and smiling at you." ~my niece Kayleigh
*"God give me the strength to be who You need me to be." ~my most constant prayer through the past few months that He has proven faithful to answer!
