Finishing Up the School Year (May 2012)

 

18wks and he's moving so much already!! I first felt my little "Popcorn" around 14wks, but he soon got stronger and ACTIVE! 

 

My last Kindergarten class walking out the door :( It was such a sweet year to end on!

 

Growing and moving...

 

Celebrated Mother's Day and got my first 1/2 Mother's Day presents from my husband, sisters and parents. I walked out to the car after church to flowers in the passenger seat and a card from my thoughtful husband

 

We said "Good Bye" to our seniors and finished out our busy school year

Love them all!!

It's a...BOY!! (April 2012)

 

 We went to Galveston for a family vacation and Jacob's race

 

Our first picture on the beach as a family of 3 :)

 

Morning sickness was getting better, but I was still so exhausted!!

 

Still exercising hardcore (for a pregnant woman)

 

18wk 5d It's a BOY!!!

 

We called up Bekah, Ryan & Molly, so they could all hear at the same time what Baby Holmes was...Amy Beth and Abigail were the translators as to everything that was being opened, reactions and the announcement 

 

I bought a bunch of gender neutral "Grandparent things" and individually wrapped them to keep them guessing...



The last box was a "Thank Heaven for Little Boys" blanket :)

 

Everyone was thrilled bc all but Grandma wanted a boy (Baba said he didn't care)

 

That Wednesday night we had a gender reveal party with the youth kids. I had them grab the cupcake of the gender they thought Baby Holmes was and divide up on two sides...



Girls side...

Boys side...

 

I had my sweet kindergarten class write "Boy" or "Girl" depending on what they thought it was...

 

And my PE class do the same thing...

I so secretly wanted a boy, but didn't want to voice it bc I was grateful that God had even allowed me to be pregnant...I didn't want to be picky. More than anything I prayed that God would grow our baby up healthy and strong inside me for the next 9 months. I knew God knew my secret desires and I voiced them to Him, but always with the preface of "God I'm so grateful and more than anything I want our baby to be healthy, but I know You know my heart..." This verse rung so true when I saw that little something extra in our sono pic :) I could tell right away, even before daddy saw it and the technician told us! My heart was overjoyed to have the privilege to raise a little boy that, God willing, would grow into a man after His own heart!

 

"For this boy I prayed, and the LORD has given me my petition which I asked of Him." 1 Sam. 1:27 NASB

Treasuring His Tiny Blessing (Feb 2012)

My very first sign that I was pregnant was towards the end of January while we were training for our 1/2 marathon. We were running a longer distance that day and I realized how swollen my hands were getting during the run. They were really uncomfortable and red, but I just attributed it to the cooler weather and thought nothing else of it. Then on the next run a few days later, my hands did the same thing. I thought it was so bizarre bc my hands had never done this before and I have trained for other races in cooler weather. I went home and cooked dinner, but they continued to stay red and swollen for a good hour after the run. I mentioned something to Jacob about how weird it was and he halfway jokingly said, "Maybe you're pregnant."

 

Molly left to go back to college and continued training on her own with a friend, but Amy Beth and I continued our training here at home together. My hand swelling became a "normal" thing, but then I started realizing my heart was racing and I was getting out of breath within the first couple miles of running. Still didn't think it was pregnancy, but began to get concerned bc this had never happened to me when running before. I remember researching possible health condition and typing my symptoms into Webmd trying to figure out if I should go to the doctor before I continued my training. Amy Beth even made a comment about me breathing heavy on one of our runs and I told her I was kinda dizzy...I remember we didn't finish our long run that day.

 

That time of the month came and I starting cramping, feeling typical symptoms, saw some spotting and thought, "I'm not pregnant, so something must be wrong!" I really was about to make a doctor's appointment bc I was starting to get concerned. The first day of my cycle (so I thought) came and went and I was a little alarmed bc that wasn't typcial. Then the second day went by and I remember beginning to think "I might be pregnant!" I didn't say anything to Jacob, but actually let him continue to think it was my time of the month bc if I was pregnant I really wanted to surprise him. It doesn't happen often that I can really catch him of guard and surprise him, so I was getting excited about that possibility.

 

Third day of my pretend cycle and I knew I probably was pregnant, but totally shocked that I was SO quickly. It was Wednesday, February 1st and we had youth that night. I was giddy all day at the possibility of being pregnant, but had to keep my composure bc I had it all planned out. I went to the grocery store after youth was over bc I knew I had a little time before Jacob came home from church. I quickly bought a pregnancy test at the self-check out line bc in this town you ALWAYS run into someone you know and I sure didn't want a rumor to start.

 

I came home, took the test and patiently just sat there waiting. It was so hard not to just stare at those pink lines the whole time waiting for them to change. I will never forget the deep joy and excitement I felt when it came back positive! I sat there in the bathroom with the biggest smile on my face all by myself just overwhelmed with amazement and deep, heartfelt gratitude that God was allowing this to really happen!! Since there was another test in the package I took that one too, but smiled through the whole thing bc I knew I was really pregnant.

 

Then I had to go into "normal" mode when Jacob got home bc I didn't want to tell him yet. I wanted to plan out something to surprise him and I needed a day to think about it. I taught the next day, but my mind was in another place the whole day. I was trying to plan everything out and time it just perfectly so he wouldn't be suspicious bc my husband catches on to my behavior changes quickly.

 

Typically Thursday nights were our date nights, so it was going to work out perfectly without seeming too out-of-the-blue or odd to him. During my lunch break I walked down to his office to ask about date night and what his plans were for the rest of the day after we got off work. I could tell he didn't have a clue bc those are typcial conversations we have with our busy schedules. I wanted to have time to run to the grocery store after teaching and buy boy/girl balloons for my surprise. He was going to be up at the office until later and then was going to swim after he was done at work. We said we'd go to dinner around 6:30-7ish, so I knew I had time to prepare everything.

 

I ran to the store after work and thought about my "lie" if I were to run into anyone I knew while buying baby balloons. Of course I saw people up there, but I dodged them without them seeing me. I also picked up a different brand of pregnancy test bc I knew my husband would want extra proof.

 

I got home, took the other pregnany test, put together the balloons and hid everything in the guest closet until later that night. When he came home from working out he jumped in the shower and I started getting ready for our date. He's always finished way faster than me, so I knew he'd go in the other room and watch tv until I was ready. I went and got our dogs into the guest bedroom, closed the door and tied the girl balloons to Bear with one brand of the pregnancy test and the boy balloons to Davinci with the other brand. I opened the door and told them to stay. I knew they would cooperate bc they're so obedient despite the fact they were a little distraught over having balloons bob above their heads.

 

I went to the back of the house where Jacob was still watching tv and told him I was ready. At that point I told the dogs to come and they came running with loud balloons hitting each other around the corner from the front of the house :) I didn't say anything, but just waited for his response with the camera in my hand. He had no clue what was going on and the dogs were going crazy running around the room with these balloons tied to their collars. It was priceless! He kept saying, "What's this? What's going on? Why do they have balloons?" I finally had to tell him, "Honey, we're pregnant!" He was in shock and seriously didn't believe me at first. He thought that I was announcing my sister and her husband being pregnant bc it was that time of the month for me and it wasn't possible that we were the one's pregnant.

 

I can't ever really surprise my husband, so I'm pretty proud I pulled that one off so well since it has to be the BEST surprise ever!!

 

 

 

Our first Sono pic was February 9th and seeing him move and hearing his heart racing was the most beautiful thing! We were about 7-8wks along at that point and no one knew, but us (and Jerry & Jr and Heather) :)

 

We went to Planet Wisdom with the kids February 24-25th and I packed a million snacks to try to keep away morning sickness. I remember staying up until 3AM with my girls in our room and not sleeping AT ALL bc we were crammed 3 in a bed!! It was a long wknd and no one knew my sweet secrect exept my husband. Being pregnant with morning sickness and going non-stop with a bunch of teens is not easy...but it was only the beginning of a long, busy pregnancy with teenagers :)

 

I finally had to give in and tell Amy Beth because she was starting to wonder why I was flaking out on our training. I was running out of excuses for why I couldn't run and she was so excited to find out before anyone else in the family :)

 

She said, "I kneeeew it!"

 

 

After pondering this sweet blessing and surprise I had growing inside of me, I got a glimpse of the overwhelming awe Mary must have felt at the joy of having Jesus. It is the most beautiful blessing to have God grant you the privilege to carry His child...

 

Luke 2:19 "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." NIV

"But Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often." NLT

Pregnant? Who knew! (Jan 2012)

So I haven't blogged since finding out we were pregnant and I wanted to catch up before Jacoby comes in a week :) I love being able to look back through previous months and read back over how God worked in our lives. These past 9 months have been such wonderful, precious memories that I want to hold on to forever...

 

After Jacob's grandmother passed away in September 2011, Jacob and I decided it was time to begin a family...from death Christ brings life and we saw it as God's perfect timing. Little did we know that we'd be getting pregnant within ONE month of trying!! We of course went through the month of January having no idea that we were already pregnant, but we should have known better bc we come from fertile families :)

 

Over the Christmas break, Molly, Amy Beth and myself decided to do a half marathon in March, so we started the training together and we were doing so well! The whole reason I told them I wanted to do another 1/2 was so that I could get into really good shape BEFORE I got pregnant, but little did I know that I already was!   

 

 8 mi run right before I found out

 

So besides exercising vigorously in the first few weeks of conception, I also painted my laundry room with Molly and helped my mom paint a bathroom in their home. Everything you read says NOT to paint and inhale the fumes during those very important developmental stages of the 1st trimester. Not only did I paint twice, but it was in very confined spaces with the door shut!  

 

And not only did I workout vigorously and paint, but we also went to a wine tasting while Bekah and Ryan were here over Christmas break. Lesson learned that when you're trying to get pregnant you need to be a little more cautious about what you're doing bc you never know if you already are pregnant :) 

"1,2,3...We're Pregnant!" (March 2012)

Well I still have my "to-do" list saved in my iPhone:

~Laundry

~Finish packing -night gown & pillow

~Wash sheets

~Wash towels and baby laundry

~Buy house warming present (for Bekah & Ryan)

~Finish blog posts

Dated: Sept. 13, 2012

And I didn't get to any of those bc we went into the doctor's office the next morning at 10:30am and Jacoby was here at 3:30pm! I didn't get around to finishing any of my posts, but I had saved all the pics and was in the process of writing stuff to go along with the pictures...

I got way too busy after Jacoby came and battled postpartum for a couple months, so I never got around to updating. I wanted to write down a few things at least, so I can always remember the memories of carrying my precious, firstborn :)

 

I put together my 29th birthday party, so I could get Ryan & Bekah here without being obvious. I told them Jacob wanted to celebrate my last birthday in my 20's, but according to all them, they were already suspicious. Jacob took a picture of us before we went out for my bday dinner and after the "1, 2, 3" we said "We're pregnant!!" and then we captured all their faces :) Priceless moment!!

 

Bekah and Daddy were the first ones to catch on

 

 

 

Then on March 10th we met up with Jr, Heather and the kids at one of Jacob's track meets. I slept in the car for a while bc I remember having a horrible migraine. Tylenol DOES NOT work! We all headed over to Napolis to meet up with Sharon, Ralph, Krystal, Kayleigh, Alyssa and Danny to celebrate Sharon's and my birthday. Since the first time I ever met her was on her birthday 5 years earlier and Jacob gave her a fake "We're pregnant" birthday card, I only thought it appropriate to do it for real this time :) It said something to the affect of "Five years ago Jacob thought it'd be funny to introduce his new, pregnant girlfriend...(in the inside was the sono pic) but this time it's for real!" And oh the look on her face :) another priceless moment!

 

And I'll never forget the headache and the nausea all the way home!!! My sweet husband had to pull over for me to throw up all my cheese ravioli with marinara and jumped out of the car to hold my hair...and then in Jacob fashion commented on the smell haha

 

13wks pregnant

 

I remember being so fearful of losing Jacoby my first trimester since I couldn't feel him yet. I only had the morning sickness as my indication that I was still pregnant. The verse I clung on to that whole trimester, and for the rest of my pregnancy, was Job 12:10 "In His hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind." He had my unborn baby's life in His hand and I had to find comfort in knowing the Creator of the Universe was breathing life into my child...His child!

 

These are a Few of My Favorite Things

My list of gifts has grown, but here are a few jotted down. They may seem small and trivial, but to truly give thanks in everything means these moments too. "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father..." (James 1:17) So these gifts too hold value because they come from our Father in Heaven who loves to see us smile at His simple blessings!

One Thousand Gifts...

So lots has happened in the 3 or so months I haven't updated. Thanksgiving. Christmas. New Years. Valentine's. Tons of youth events. Birthdays. Anniversaries. And the list goes on. Lots of memories stick out to me, but the three that stick out to me the most are:

1) going through a dry, apathetic season in my walk and God drawing me out of it through the blessing of a book called 'One Thousand Gifts' by Ann Voskamp
2) going to our yearly February youth conference, Planet Wisdom, with our teens
3) celebrating 4 years with my wonderful husband

I went through the Holiday season where I should be most thankful as a believer with no joy, no desire, no longing to pursue after my relationship with the Lord. I of course knew this was wrong, but was just in a rut. I prayed through it asking God to change my heart, help me focus on Him, convict me of me sin, refocus my desires and I knew it was a season, but I wanted out of it! I do desire the Lord, I do love Him above all else, I do want to be in constant communion with Him, but for some reason I was just apathetic towards it. Him. The more apathetic I became, the more miserable I was. I am a Sunday school teacher, a pastor's wife, a small group leader, an example of Christ to tons of teens, someone whose supposed to have the scriptural answers or at least seeking them and be able to pray for others when they got through their ruts. I felt like Elijiah on Mount Carmel when he took down the prophets of Baal and "the power of the Lord came upon him" (1 Kings 18:46) and then 3 verses down he "was afraid and ran for his life" when he heard Jezebel was after him. I have the blessing everyday to be surround by His people, to see the power of God at work in their lives, to talk about Christ and then within a matter of a few hours I forget, I lose sight, I turn my back. And then, just like Elijiah, I wait for Him to appear in a powerful wind or an earthquake or fire, something big and obvious. And in His loving faithfulness, He reveals Himself and draws me back to Him through a "gentle whisper." (1 Kings 19:12) My gentle whisper came in the form of a book my sweet friends Jess and Jenn gave me for Christmas called 'One Thousand Gifts.' Boy did it rock my world and allow God to do exactly what I'd been asking of Him...change my heart, refocus my affections of Him and convict me. Boy did it convict me of my sin!

I realized how ungrateful I had become. How deserving I thought I was. How self-reliant I had become. How me focused I was. All resulting in a thankless, selfish, prideful, Christian...opposite of everything I should be as a follower of Christ. I began to see how I'd lost sight of God's provision, His blessings, His gifts and the result of my sin was an apathetic Christian walk. The author's purpose in writing this book was to help the reader really notice and pay attention to the everyday blessings, no matter how small they may seem. He blesses us beyond measure and we so often take those blessings for granted because we feel entitled and somehow "worthy" of them. If we truly give thanks in every circumstance and put gratitude at the forefront of every prayer and thought, it leaves little room for arrogance, pride or apathy.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4: 6 "...but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
Colossians 3:17 "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him."

When Daniel heard the decree that anyone who prayed to any god or man besides King Darius would be thrown into the lion's den, he wasn't fearful, but instead "went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened towards Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before." (Dan. 6:10)

Jesus knew that it was His Last Supper with His disciples, He knew the man that betrayed Him was sitting in the room partaking of the bread and wine, He knew the fate ahead of Him, but "while they were eating, [He] took bread, gave thanks and broke it..." (Mark 14:22)

Despite their circumstances and the fate of their future, they still gave thanks!! As this book, and its lessons, began to unravel for me, my perspective began to change. I go through my life expecting my day to go as planned and focusing on every little detail. I go, go, go from sun up to sun down complaining and rushing. I serve, I give, I teach, I clean and do it all over again the next day without a glimpse of Jesus Christ in my mind. No wonder I had become miserable and complacent. I wasn't giving thanks for the opportunity to live from sun up to sun down or relax in the midst of a chaotic, fun day or enjoy His bigger, beautiful picture or serve Him or teach His children or give to His people or clean up after His messy children. It's all in the way you look at it...

"Life is dessert -too brief to hurry. Wherever you are, be all there...slow down and taste life, give thanks and see God." ~Ann Voskamp

Her challenge was to do just what the book implies, write out one thousand gifts, no matter how big or small, hard or easy, enjoyable or difficult...and so I begun! And as I focused on my daily blessings, it all began to change. My relationship with the Lord had been revived. My joy had returned. My desires for Him were fulfilled in abundance. And I was oozing with thankfulness for my Father, His love for me and constant pursuit for a relationship with His wandering daughter.

Once I had moved on to a better season in my walk, we started gearing up for our yearly youth conference...a highlight for the teens and leaders alike! If the book hadn't brought about a change in my relationship with the Lord, spending a weekend with teens would have done it :) If our hearts could smile, mine and Jacob's would out of deep joy and pure delight from doing life with these teens!! We truly have the blessing to see God at work constantly in their lives and a weekend away worshiping, laughing, praying, talking, growing only amplifies it. We are so blessed to be in ministry together and have a very large extended family in these teens! We LOVE them!

And then we celebrated 4 years of marriage! I so look forward to many, many more years with my husband God willing. He is my absolute best friend, my protector, my provider, my prayer warrior, my leader, my ministry partner, my life partner! I could never have imagined 4 years ago that God would bring us to this place in our marriage and allowed us to do the things we do or experience the blessings we do. He has been faithful to carry us through and strengthen our love for Him and in return our love for each other. Each day I love my husband more and each year is getting better :)

There have been ups and downs these past few months, but God has been faithful and we are so incredibly blessed!